It's a bird. It's a plane. It's a bug...

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

It occurred to me today that I spend a lot of time doing things out of habit. Driving to work: left exit -- my daughter's work; right exit -- my work. Making dinner. Reading blogs. I don't have to expel any effort because they're all things I've done over and over again.

After a horrible morning, I drove out to meet my daughter for lunch. I had zoned out a little and I was thinking about everything but my actual driving. I was contemplating what I would get at Fazoli's, what groceries I should buy this week, the kitchen clean-up I had started before I left the house. It didn't even occur to me that I was on auto-pilot until "bam", a winged insect flew into the car and smacked me right in the middle of my forehead. I was totally stunned. The insect, unfortunately, suffered a fate far worse and his dead body slid to my lap, where I flicked it off onto the floor.

All of a sudden, I was totally aware of everything going on around me. I was alert. I was on-guard, which was a good thing because, evidently, the insect wasn't dead. He decided to crawl up my lap one more time. As a former animal rights person, I probably shouldn't say this but I wasn't having any of that. I'm fairly certain he is no longer with us.

That bug made me think about the past two years that I've been in Virginia. I've spent a lot of time here being on auto-pilot, just existing and wallowing a little, or maybe a lot, in my misery. Instead of being grateful for the things I do have (life, a roof over my head, a great daughter, a job), I mentally keep replaying what I don't have or what I gave up when I moved to Virginia. Poor, pitiful me.

Basically, if I read 1 Peter 5:8 right, I was on the way to being devoured. But, that was yesterday. Today, I'm alert and ready. Thank God for that bug. Sometimes all it takes is a good smack in the forehead!

A gentle cleansing

Wash me thoroughly from my inquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

Psalm 51:2

At work, all the toilets operate on an automatic flushing system. For the most part, the toilets work fine but at the restroom near the front of the building, the flusher is a little off. If you move even the slightest bit, the toilet flushes vigorously giving your nether regions a gentle cleansing. For some reason, it always reminds me of an European bidet. For those of you who have never experienced the bidet -- you walk away much cleaner then you were originally.

I normally try to avoid that particular restroom but, today, I had no choice. When nature calls, you go where you can. During my potty break, I must have moved slightly because I was treated to a vigorous flush. Oddly, I immediately thought about the song that goes "what can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus".

Yup. I'm going to compare Jesus to a flushing toilet. As I was sitting there, I thought about how if we commit our lives to Jesus, He cleanses us from our sins and transgressions. Just like that toilet leaves me a little cleaner than I was, so does Jesus. He meets us even in our darkest, dirtiest places and offers us a chance to be clean and free.

Some of us, myself included, need a regular dose of what Jesus has to offer. I usually try to avoid the toilet at the front of our building but I'm trying, in my most imperfect way, to embrace the daily cleansing that I get, and need, from Jesus. I feel much better for it.

Discarded

"So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot

or cold, I will spit you out of My mouth"

Revelation 3:16

I love watching my dog eat. Mostly, he gobbles up his food quickly but, every once in a while, he'll spit out a few of the dry food morsels. I'm not quite sure why he does that. I've even tried sneaking those pieces back in the bowl but he just spits them out again. I've smelled the food. I've examined the discarded pieces. There's nothing distinctly wrong with the pieces he spits out but he refuses to eat them for some reason. Something in him makes him discard those pieces.

Lately, I've been having a little crisis of faith. I'm mad at God. I've been mad at God for a long time but because I was involved in a good bible study and church home, I was able to mask it. It's only been since moving to Virginia that I've realized just how mad I am at God. I understand that, as Christians, our lives are not our own and that we, occasionally, have to suffer for the cause; however, when a good 'deed' that you've done turns against you, it's harder to recoup. That's what happened to me. And then I moved to Virginia.

For six years, I've been sitting on the fence. Mad at God but still trying to serve Him. I've been "punishing" Him by not really reading the Bible, by praying half-heartedly and by not joining in at church. Hmmm. The only one I've been punishing is myself.

I realized when I saw my dog discard those pieces of food, that I've become the person that they're talking about in Revelation 3:16. I've become a lukewarm Christian. I never meant for it to happen. It just did. But, I'm ready now to make a change.

Asking forgiveness is the first step (I'm sorry, God) and softening my heart is the next. I, so seriously, don't want to be spewed out of God's mouth. While I still have issues with what happened many years ago, and with what's transpired since I moved to Virginia, I know that God is faithful to take us from where we start. It's baby steps. I'm okay with that.